i saw this video that my friend k posted on facebook this morning and i literally am so old i cannot figure out how to share it on this blog site. i tired copying it. i tried sharing it. i tired nearly everything. (i tried two things) and it won't work. so i will just tell you about it.
this worst mom ever shared a beautiful story of how she took her kids to get ice cream and then threw it away because they did not make eye contact with the worker who made it for them, say thank you to her, or tell their mom thank you for the treat.
i told ethan all about it and he was so for it.
i said to him, ethan burt, you will be the kind of parent that throws our kids ice cream away if they are ungrateful brats. to which he answered yes but also i'll be even worse because my kids won't be getting ice cream. to which i laughed, but also know he's mostly not kidding.
and then we have a fabulous conversation about teaching our children about the beauty of human connection and kindness. i'm so excited to have a family one day. it is so incredibly fun to not have kids and to just be the two of us. we adore kids and oh my freaking lanta, how cute will little burt bebes be!? but, being two adults with no responsibility is super cool, too. like thinking about the responsibility of being in charge of keeping a tiny human alive makes me feel all the anxiety and sweating feels. thankful for God's timing.
so my favorite. we discussed taking our kids to royal donut.
(rarely of course, because of ethan's dislike of sugar and all things fun)
we will talk to our kids about WHO is at the donut place. and not about the DONUTS at the place. our world has become about the places we can go to get the things we want. we forget about the workers. that they are humans. that exist. that they work hard. that they love or hate their job. that they have family. that they just want eye contact and a friendly conversation during their work day instead of people treating them like dirt and just getting what they want (thirteen donuts), avoiding eye contact and getting the heck out. without even a thank you or a have a nice day. what is wrong with us? how much cooler would it be if our children get to know the PEOPLE at the donut shop? and maybe, over time our kids gain a "grammy" or an "uncle" behind the counter of a local donut shop because they were interested in THEM more than the donuts with sprinkles. which is really hard for a kid, i know, because it's hard for me too. sprinkles are really distracting.
and traveling to new places. we are so stoked to travel with our kids. what we love most about the travel is the PEOPLE. i can't wait to teach my kids about people. and loving them. and meeting new people all the time and how you do actually have room in your heart for all of them. new food in a new place is fun and great because a beautiful human created it. worked hard to present your plate to you. went to the extra effort to put fresh flowers on the table just because it brings joy to others. humans are behind everything that goes on in this world. i hate that for so long we've gotten away from that. we've been too focused on the things and the fun and the treats for ourselves that we forget the people.
we're all moving too quickly. grabbing what we want and then running to a comfortable corner with just our tiny group of people. and that's why the world is full of lonely souls. what if when we took our families out, we tried to find new people to sit with or invite over? then maybe we could all truly participate in this community thing we all claim we so desperately want. we want it, but no one wants to take the time to make it happen.
we talked about how their mama loves the paper store. so our kids will grow up going with me and loving or hating my love for pretty paper. but how we will greet the workers and ask them all about their day and thank them for showing us around the pretty paper store.
we want our kids to know people. to like people. to be good to people. to be more interested in the people running the store rather than just what they can get for themselves.
i think it is definitely a challenge. but i see parents doing it. and i love them for it. and i love their kids for it. they are far less bratty and horrible to be around.
i try to live this way now, so it's easier when we bring kids into this world.
the way we practice living now is how we will live when we have kids.
they learn so much from how we behave. they are like little adorable, germy sponges.
i hope they look at us and absorb so much goodness from us that they can help the world become better as they grow into adults themselves.
i don't want us to just go about our lives, grabbing and taking anything we can get. i hope that we see others. that we encourage their lives and brighten their days. and who knows! maybe even make lifelong friends out of these strangers. kindness and love and eye contact and human connection. at the store. the donut place. the ice cream shop. the grocery. the doctor's office.
there are people all over the place! what a beautiful world. full of humans.
humans who need love.
let's love love more than we love ourselves.
so our kids will grow up to be really amazing adult humans.
even before we are parents, i feel the weight of this responsibility because of all the kids we are blessed with in our lives now! we are aunt and uncle. to more than just our actual sibling's kids! it is such a joy. you should go watch that video. she does such a great job of talking about what she dreams of for her kids. it was so good today for ethan and i to watch/listen and discuss in our home. we aren't parents yet, but we will be soon enough. and it's such a beautiful responsibility.
i don't have a cute photo for this. which is weird because i always post a photo with a blog entry. i don't even have a photo of a donut because ethan rarely lets me have one. it could be of adorable bebe feet or something but we're not there yet. so just imagine adorable burt bebes and insert that image here :)