early baby days |at home with bb
i had no idea how much of mothering in the early years is just doing much of the same nothingness just in different rooms or places all day every day. ha! props to you, mamas.
in this last year i have had many emotions. all of them, i’m pretty sure. i have wanted to stay home full time and i have wanted to run out of the house every day and have someone else take on the responsibility of caring for my kid. especially now that he laughs at me and runs away like a little stinker pie.
this last week was really hard. and so have yesterday and today. i have been wishing i was more gentle and less spicy. i am so spicy. i desire to be gentle with jack but man, he has been ticking me off and i have been struggling to be kind in the moment. or in a whole day.
i get easily bored and doing nothing all day with a baby is so boring. i also am not good at routine. and we are in huge transition mode with work and lots of secret behind the scenes stuff which i am terrible at since i am an oversharer and wish i could tell the world.
but right now i am pausing. the weather is amazing. my husband is helping with the baby. the baby is trying to eat the mums on this beautiful september day on our glorious patio. birds are singing their end of summer songs and i have a cup of hot coffee to enjoy.
i feel the Lord telling me to just be still. which goes against every fiber of my being. just enjoy the nothingness. be still. this will pass way sooner than you ever could imagine. one day this boy will only be visiting for too short of visits. this is a blessed time. your idea of nothing is my idea of beauty and grace and growth and building family. just be all here. don’t miss it, beloved one.