oh what a day! what a week! what a change!
finally, finally, praise the good lord, we are nearly out of this deep season of WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE WE GOING TO DO and entering into OH MY GOSH ARE WE ACTUALLY DOING THIS!?
for years we have been questioning our move to danville. this fall will mark six years and i can’t actually believe it’s been that long! we felt a call to come and make danville our place. we had no idea why and still for years it’s been quite unclear. our job takes us away from danville every weekend. the lord provided a great job in wedding photography but mostly we became the traveling burts and left town every weekend. we had a very adventurous life and we’ve enjoyed it greatly. we’ve made connections i know God has put in place for a reason and hearts we will stay friends with forever, and the joy of capturing people’s days and on and on for seriously ever. i could/should write a book just about our journey as wedding photographers.
but things are going to change and are changing. we got the surprise of our lives with jack truman’s birth and our hearts have been making a more serious shift ever since. we began to wonder if we were supposed to take steps towards something new, something else. along with keeping the weddings we already have booked, we’ll be becoming more selective with how many we take per year and how far we’ll travel. being gifted with sweet jack boy, our family years have now begun and we know it’s time to foster and adopt and grow our family together. life has drastically changed since having jack. and losing both of my parents. two words just keep flashing in my mind like huge neon signs, “rescue” and “legacy". i just keep thinking about all the children that need homes and what kind of legacy we will leave behind for our family. it really gives me drive to do something i’m passionate about and that is meaningful.
it’s incredibly scary to think about starting over. or staring anew. a completely different business. we’ve dreamed about it for so long and it’s only one of the many ideas we have! that’s another reason the season was dark and shadowy for a good long while. we have too many ideas and very little money. which idea do we jump on?
we’ve been looking at buildings in downtown danville for over six years. when we first looked at moving here we looked at buying an old masonic lodge to fix up and become our home. it was huge and cheap and freaked me out with the creepy feelings. we didn’t get it and decided on a regular people home but we’ve never stopped dreaming and looking at the old downtown buildings. i have no idea other than Holy Spirit leading why we’re so drawn to downtown danville. it’s not our hometown. we never spent much time there as kids. but man, we’re drawn. we’ve been in many of these historic buildings, had some inspections, made all the calls, met with the mayor, talked to the city, talked to investors, not made any solid moves. and done it all again several times over with several properties. just waiting. impatiently, mostly on my part. but in the last two years i have really grown patient. i have learned to see the waiting as a gift and enjoy the process of the unknown and not moving just yet. i have seen very clearly God move, close doors, open others and put crazy crazy crazy awesome opportunities in front of our faces right at the perfect time. it’s been a great lesson in discernment. and now i’ve become quite good at it. i’m able to be more certain and clear headed as we move forward. i can get in the clouds with ideas, but when it comes to really making solid choices, i’m level headed and smart and a helpful partner to ethan in this process. all the other times we’d get just so far and then everything would crash or one little thing would make the business/building/idea impossible. and no amount of positive optimism on my part could make it happen. my friends and ethan would say things like “let’s not get our hopes up” but there i was each and every time, hopes high up. and really, i don’t regret it. i feel every bit of it and i get to experience a lot because of that! sure, it might be hard for my friends to deal with my ups and downs but the good ones stick and love me through it. and it gives them hope, too. because i’m tireless when it comes to getting my hopes up on a new business idea/possibility. and sometimes we need that kind of person in our corner. they know that when they have a courageous idea, i’ll be all there, hopeful and for them and in support of their crazy. because i see God work and do crazy impossible things!
there’s been a clear shift and we can just tell we are nearing the starting line.
we are antsy but patient. we are ready but scared. we are willing to risk.
our sweet little family went on a delightful downtown jaunt the other day. it was a God thing. it was monday and i forget the little shops i like are closed on mondays. so we decided to cruise around a bit. we ended up finding another building and we decided to just call the number in the window. things have been moving forward full speed ahead since then. it could close and crash and we could just be back again at nothing for now, but i really don’t think so this time. i feel all tingly about this one. we are moving and grooving and trying to get the proper things in order to begin something new. i’m beyond excited and cannot wait to share more as this all unfolds.
today was amazing. i was out with jack all day which meant ethan wasn’t distracted and got ALL THE THINGS done at home. i love us so much, but we cannot do anything but be together when we are all home. i literally have to take the cute baby and myself out of the house so ethan can work. i prefer this over the alternative, but it gets complicated. we love being self-employed but we have little self control and burn things to the ground to be together to a fault. so i came home with sweet jack boy and e had done all the dishes, cleaned the whole house, finished a wedding and did previews for two weddings. he is a machine when he’s left alone! we know a big shift in schedule is coming and we’ve been craving that for a while. we love connecting with people and photographing, but 90% of our job is actually editing behind a computer all day and we don’t love that. we’ve tried three times to outsource our editing but we just cannot find anyone who can replicate us and our style. it cost more time and money to try that than just to do it ourselves. a job change and schedule change does sound really nice. i know there will be challenges ahead, of course. but being more involved in the community and less behind a computer screen sounds lovely. we want to be out and about throughout the week and be busy as a family in the community we feel called to. we rarely get to be and see our community with what we do now.
i don’t exactly know how this will look or if this is even happening! but i truly miss sharing our life as it plays out. i miss my own writing. i got tripped up there for a while and i’ve had a really hard time finding my way back. i am thankful for all the writers who haven written on writing. i am spending my evenings reading words and remembering why i do this and it’s been so fulfilling. i’m fumbling my way back into my own way of writing and sharing. i’ve been a fumbly mess for a few years and i’m thankful for the sweetness of those who love me and encourage me and us in our life and in my writing.