ten years of seeing him | handsome husband | great papa
it’s fall again! hello, october!
i just realized that this is my TENTH fall season with ethan burt.
TEN! our first decade.
it feels very significant. it feels very adult. old. beginning to weather.
like, in the best way.
the only thing i’ve stayed committed to for this long. oy! the eye rolls on all the hair cuts.
i love this man! i love him so. i’ve been learning him and finding him out and adventuring with him for 10 years. we have built a sturdy foundation that is safe, steadfast, strong and true. we have traditions. we are family.
and now we have this little lump of a human, jack truman. he’s literally a piece of us. we made him. HOW CRAZY IS THAT. he’s a little creature that is so perfect to us. we just adore him together.
every year around this time of year i remember what it was like before meeting ethan and just how INCREDIBLY HAPPY i am that i met him. and the “what are the odds” that led us to one another! i still remember the nerves and the butterflies. and his smooth, charming nature. and his grin. and his beard. and his intense gaze.
the other morning i was putting jack down for a nap. my mind was wandering to how much i love ethan and i came back up into the kitchen and living room towards ethan and the coffees by our green and orange chairs and he was just sitting there, all handsome. i told him i was thinking about how much i love him and he said, me too. i was just thinking about before i met you and how stupid that time was.
we are both very intense people. the intensity has only grown in our 10 years together.
we met and jumped right into married life together. there was barely any time to think or make a plan or prepare. and that’s how we’ve been doing things ever since. i know no other way and i love this way.
and now each season is new because we get to watch and experience it all with jack. last fall he was a flopsy baby and this year he’s toddling about and learning to walk. last year i could put any cute sweater or hat on him that i wanted and this year i can try but jack decides if he will keep the hat on or not (mostly not) and i have to learn clever ways to get him to keep his shoes on.
i’m so looking forward to christmas again this year. last year was our best ever. just the three of us, listening to christmas music and baking winter treats. staying inside in our warm pjs and watching movies. this year i hope to fill our home with dinners with friends, inviting neighbors for soup and warmth, watching harry potter with our boy, and more after dark walks with just ethan. we actually made a fall / winter bucket list this year! i’ve seen them all over insta and i cannot design one all pretty like theirs are but we took pen to paper and made our personalized bucket list. it include things like making soup, treating our friends, beers and bonfires and s’mores, all the fall and wintery movies.
i’m trying to prepare my heart for the early mornings of darkness again. it was very difficult when jack was a newborn. i love sunlight and brightness. and it was a whole season of darkness with postpartum and being stuck inside because of the cold. i am doing my best to prepare now for this coming season. ethan has been a huge help lately. he wakes up early with jack so that i can take a few minutes to just stretch and get ready and slowly make some coffee before taking on the day of baby wrangling. it’s been so beneficial. i feel seen and loved. then he gets some more rest because he’s the night owl. he works late and sleeps a little later into the morning. so much changes with each new month with a baby. they are so different one month to another. it’s more surprising than i anticipated! so we are learning to go with the flow and embrace temporary changes. what works for now might not work next month and we are flexible to this reality.
it’s not necessary to do life with a husband or to have kids in order to live a good, solid life. especially a life for Christ. in fact, paul talks about how it can hinder ministry and spiritual work. it should not have been my goal to get married. Jesus should always be my goal. but i am feeling the weight of the beauty of celebrating a decade of marriage. the beauty of covenant love. the largeness of marriage. it is a gift that i have received and i will treat it as such. with great thankfulness and celebration.
and the extra gift of having a baby. a son to care for and the weight of responsibility to nurture him and raise him well. what a delight!
this time of our life is so special and it needs to be celebrated.
i love a good celebration! it’s not just a one day event. it’s an every day, deep within kind of thankful heart.
ethan is very very good at living every day as a celebration and awareness of its gift. i learn so much from him when i pay attention. if you’ve met him you know this about him. he’s sometimes so intense he can’t even handle the superficial things because his intense ethan brain is looping in the deepness and largeness of life and Jesus and things eternal. i’ve often wanted to shake it out of him so he can just be “normal for a night” but the longer i am with him, the more i see just how much we would all benefit if we were a little more like him instead of him coming to be more like all the normies.
i can’t believe he’s mine! i can’t believe i get to see him today. and kiss him today. and smell his face and see his beard. i love loving ethan burt.
we are proof that every day can seriously be the best married day ever. we’ve been doing this for ten years! i am seeing the beauty of this. i feel encouraged when people tell us they see this in us. we love being loud about it! we want it for others. we celebrate it for ourselves. any one can choose to live this delighted.
i am the luckiest to be ethan burt’s girl.